Far Corfe: Queef's Warband - Sgt Twitters, Dr Calamitous & The Goon Squad

Queef's Goon Squad - Bodyguards, enforcers and all-round shit-kickers

One thing that I love about Rogue Trader and miss in modern 40k is the amount of humour (most often daft and obscure to non-Brits) that ran through the setting, as though its creators never took anything too seriously and always tried to remember that it was actually all about the fun.

That's essentially why the setting for my skirmish games is called "Far Corfe", why I have gangs called "Heapsters" and "The Saggy Bottom Boys", and it's why the disreputable governor of the God-Emperor forsaken port is known as "Queef the Querulous".

I added Queef after seeing the Immortan Drumpf mini from Hasselfree Miniatures and wanting some of that action, so I ordered him and a couple of others back at the end of January (and I'm still waiting now -  come on and pull your thumbs out, Hasselfree, the snow's buggered off now!) and his presence in the fluff of Far Corfe grew from there.

I'd always liked the idea of there being NPC factions in Far Corfe, and as I thought of each gang I'd worked on in relation to Queef, it soon became clear that he was easily able to stand as the cause of a grudge, slight or injustice in the minds of each that would draw them to the place seeking revenge on his corrupt and incompetent person.

The Goon Squad were a quartet of Warzone Capital Troopers that I managed to snag as a bargain on Ebay (before prices for that range seemed to go mental recently) and always intended to serve as a group of corporate bully-boys, and their over-the-top armour and pimped out weapons seemed to be just up Queef's alley (right out of central casting, as he might have said himself).

Colonel Zanzibar has already been ear-marked as "Colonel Welker", the head of Queef's militia and a screeching martinet of epic proportions, but I felt that he needed more underlings to make his presence on the tabletop feel like a genuine warband, a clown-car cabinet of his own, if you will.

Sgt Twitters & Dr Calamitous - crazy enough to deal with Queef on a daily basis

A quick dip into the sprues in the modelling cupboard and a bit of inspiration from what I've seen others doing online, and we have Sgt Twitters and Dr Calamitous, trusted advisers to the Governor-for-Life, or at least people that he regularly shouts at and yet pays too much to have them tell him where to shove it in return.

Dr Calamitous, Front - The goggles are always splattered in something...

L Side - it has a medicae symbol on it, but in all honesty, he's more likely to have Queef's chicken nuggets in there

R Side - a chainblade on a pistol isn't overkill if you're clinically insane

Back - it's in canisters labelled with a skull and crossbones and on the back of a mad professor, so it can't be good, whatever the hell it actually is

The standing IG officer parts on the tank accessories sprue was the basis for Dr Calamitous, looking like a typical mad professors outfit, and the addition of a leering Genestealer Neophyte Hybrid head along with the arms of a Tempestus Scions medic finished him off nicely, though the prometheum tanks on his back just seemed to raise him from sinister man of science to foaming lunatic in one move.

Calamitous was, of course, heavily inspired by Dr Colossus from The Simpsons, and has been pumping Queef full of crazy drugs for years, all the time whilst claiming with a relatively straight face, that the man's in perfect health, though his tendency to laugh in a maniacal manner after delivering most comments does spoil the effect somewhat.

Sgt Twitters, Front - Smooth Operator...

R Side - Dog & Bone

L Side - Chainsword, for the benefit of the press-pack

Back - video killed the radio star

Sgt Twitters is the man with the thankless job of trying to regulate, sanitize and explain the string of bizarre and inflammatory proclamations that spill from Queef's mouth and onto the local vox networks at all hours of the day.

This means that he's the sum of all the most comms-oriented, over-burdened and harassed-looking IG officer parts that were to hand, operating a headset, field-telephone and vox-caster backpack all at once, whilst brandishing a chainsword in the vain hope of it keeping the foaming mobs Queef creates with his offensive comments at bay.

I'm hoping to have these guys painted up and the same for Queef and Welker within a few weeks, so, as always, let me know what you think in the comments below, via email, or on social media.